11/30/2005
*climbs walls*
I just found myself looking everywhere for a ciggie. It was literally like some voice in my head saying "Just have one, don't worry it'll be cool". Fucking weird! It was just some sort of brain fart or something. Anyway, cigarettes suck cock.
I can sort of see after that little episode how fucked up it must feel to be addicted to smack or another harder addictive drug... If that's what ciggarettes make you feel like after not taking it, there must be some *fucking* strong urge going thru those people to get a hit. Sometimes the sort where they're not really in full control, like something else other than their conciouss is driving, and the normal part of their self just switches off.
Like "screamy" 2 doors down. He's been there a long time apparently. That guy used to freak me out when I first moved to 333. He walks up the street having loud but totally random conversations. The voices in the back of his head have totally taken over. Perhaps he was a junkie once, or maybe he tried to gas himself and failed or something. It'd do no good to ask him at any rate. I've tried talking to him before but he looks at you and just continues with the gibberish.
I actually feel sympathetic to junkies most of the time. My mum is a drug and alcohol counciller and has worked in prisons and with the public. She's told me stories she considers is the typical background of junkies and those schizo's's you see sometimes up in Kings cross, dressed in tracksuits screaming wild eyed at the punters, tounge moving side to side outside the mouth. Apparently any amount of drug usage can do make you just schitz out, and never come back properly from it. Especially with phycadelics and amphetamines. Like, you may have a regular dealer and trust him, but he may get something different and it just sends your mind off. Permanently. You don't even have to be using for a long time. Scary thought.
But the non-crazy junk heads usually have pretty sad, fucked up stories.
I can sort of see after that little episode how fucked up it must feel to be addicted to smack or another harder addictive drug... If that's what ciggarettes make you feel like after not taking it, there must be some *fucking* strong urge going thru those people to get a hit. Sometimes the sort where they're not really in full control, like something else other than their conciouss is driving, and the normal part of their self just switches off.
Like "screamy" 2 doors down. He's been there a long time apparently. That guy used to freak me out when I first moved to 333. He walks up the street having loud but totally random conversations. The voices in the back of his head have totally taken over. Perhaps he was a junkie once, or maybe he tried to gas himself and failed or something. It'd do no good to ask him at any rate. I've tried talking to him before but he looks at you and just continues with the gibberish.
I actually feel sympathetic to junkies most of the time. My mum is a drug and alcohol counciller and has worked in prisons and with the public. She's told me stories she considers is the typical background of junkies and those schizo's's you see sometimes up in Kings cross, dressed in tracksuits screaming wild eyed at the punters, tounge moving side to side outside the mouth. Apparently any amount of drug usage can do make you just schitz out, and never come back properly from it. Especially with phycadelics and amphetamines. Like, you may have a regular dealer and trust him, but he may get something different and it just sends your mind off. Permanently. You don't even have to be using for a long time. Scary thought.
But the non-crazy junk heads usually have pretty sad, fucked up stories.
posted by nascent at 11/30/2005 08:24:00 pm
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